I decided years ago to live an even, balanced life. I now think that I took that idea too literally. I live an even life, definitely. I’m content and have a lot to be thankful for. But by living my life without any real “downs” I have become unable to really feel or appreciate the “ups” either. From now on I would like to live a life that evens out, but is not even. Acknowledge the downs, really feel them – and then maybe the ups will feel that much better.

I have a lot of plans for the next few months of my life, all of which are pretty drastic and will take a lot of emotion and sacrifice and scary things like that. But the hope is that, by getting through it all to the other side, it will be well worth the time and effort expended. And that my perspective on life will be that much sharper. I want to feel again, for better or for worse.