Fan mail for Quentin Tarantino

Dear Mr. Tarantino,
At some point before Django Unchained came out, I realized that I’d never seen any of your movies on the big screen. I couldn’t believe it – what excuse could there be? So I made it a priority, and will from now on. Your movie, quite simply, is art. From the wiggle of the tooth on top of Schultz’s cart at the open to Broomhilda clapping her hands at the end – cinematic perfection. The music is both obscenely diverse (from Beethoven to 2Pac!) and flawless.
I’m currently living an unusual life, living on a research boat for 2 months straight while crossing the Pacific, working 12 hours a day, every day (for science!). Distractions are the key to sanity, so we all watch a lot of movies and TV episodes in our down time. A group of us sat down for Django Unchained last week and I was giddy the whole time. Taking us out of our environment and transporting us elsewhere is no small feat, and I consider it a blessing. Thank you for that. I also watched the first 2 seasons of Alias on this trip and really enjoyed your guest spot. From the first shot I knew it was you, something in the swagger. And I perked up, knowing that it was going to be an especially splendid arc.
This letter isn’t just about flattery. I want to see behind the scenes of a movie. For some, knowing the “trick” behind a magic act ruins it, but to me it becomes even more magical. I want to understand how many people, how many takes – just how much goes into my entertainment. Any chance I can help out on your next movie? I can do many jobs and would, eagerly. I am a good person to have around. My initial instinct was to write to James Cameron, what with his fascination with ocean discovery I figured that could be my in. But your films give me glee and that can’t be denied. If nothing else, I wanted you to know that.

A big fan